Just Another Knight of Honks
by cannibalisticReaper
Summary: Gamzee shows up at Karkat's place unexpectedly and makes him forget all about the pretty little cake he was working on ;O) (worst summary yet, takes place after the game and the trolls are now living with the humans on Earth)


**So I haven't posted anything in motherfucking FUREVER! Sorry about that, just kinda got busy with Homestuck and stuff (can't wait for the fucking anime). I figured I should post something amazing to make up for it! But this was the best I could do. By the way, this is just one of the shippings I have fur Karkitty. I also ship KarkatxJade, KarkatxDave, and KarkatxSollux. Alright, enough glubbing around. I'm going to contribute to ALL of the pairings I ship from Homestuck, so prepare yourself! Also, enjoy ^u^**

"HOLD THE FUCK UP, WOULD YOU? I'LL BE THERE IN A DAMN MINUTE!" Karkat screamed over his shoulder while the doorbell continued to ring incessantly. The game was over and everyone came back to life, and yet the trolls were forced to share inhabitance over Earth with the humans, which meant adjusting to a human's way of life. Like houses, showers, beds, and doorbells: stupid, fucking doorbells. He lived alone in his hi- Er, house, with nothing but an Earth cat to keep him company. When he'd first acquired the creature, he despised it: with all its mewling and scratching and purring. Jade had given it to him as a present for his 7th wriggling day, or 14th birthday as the humans called it, and he could've sworn she was just doing it to annoy him. Jade knew of Nepeta's little nickname for him, Karkitty, and was no doubt trying to get his Earth goat. She gave him a few other things to go along with the little nuisance: food, treats, special shampoo. You know, the necessities. He was named Sir Fluffybutt, which Karkat thought was a terrible fucking name, but he kept it because he'd planned on getting rid of the thing later that week. Needless to say, Karkat fell in love with Sir Fluffybutt within an hour of owning him and pampers him like he's a fucking sea dweller or some shit. Now, back to the annoying ass doorbell.

The constant ringing continued and Karkat was becoming more upset by the minute. All he wanted to do was finish decorating this stupid cake, but no! It seemed that that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

"OK FUCK, I'M COMING! GOD DAMMIT STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING DOOR BELL YOU ASS!" he screamed once more, throwing down the purple frosting he'd been using for the cake. He stormed over to the door, forgetting to remove the lilac apron he'd been wearing with the words 'Fuck the Cook' on it. To be perfectly honest, Karkat hated the apron, but his friend Gamzee gave it to him as an apology (a rather shitty one if you asked him) and he just couldn't say no to the juggalo.

Instead of more ringing, there was a series of knocks that only served to piss Karkat off even more. He swung the door wide open, a large scowl on his face, prepared to cuss out the annoying visitor when he found himself being tackled by someone significantly heavier, and larger, than him. He struggled against the person atop him unsuccessfully before giving up and letting his limbs sink to the floor.

"HeY tHeRe BeSt FrIeNd," the juggalo greeted in a strange drawl that made humans think he was high as a kite, "WhY yOu GoTtA bE aLl Up AnD sTrUgGlInG lIkE tHaT kArBrO? YoU kNoW i AiN't GoNnA dO nOtHiNg."

Karkat rolled his eyes before glaring at his best friend. He no longer considered Gamzee his moirail after everything that happened: killing their friends, mutilating their bodies, ending their Moirallegince, betraying Karkat to be Kismesis with Terezi, helping out Lord English, and pretty much going batshit crazy, but he was the only one of their friends who'd accepted him back without a second thought. It'd taken some time for the others, but Karkat had immediately forgiven him, even going so far as to hug the clown. He couldn't believe that it was Gamzee doing all those things, so when Gamzee had claimed to be possessed by an evil spirit, Karkat had latched onto this excuse life a life preserver. Even when he'd discovered the clown kicking Terezi's ass, a small part of him just wanted to help the poor clown. He'd just wanted his drugged up juggalo back. Thankfully, after the game, he got him back, and now here he was: hovering over him like the asshat he was.

"WHATEVER JUST GET OFF ME FUCKASS, YOU'RE CRUSHING ME," Karkat wheezed, once again trying to remove his friend.

"NaH bRoThEr, I jUsT gOtTa AlL uP aNd GeT mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg HuG oN!" the high blood said, wrapping his lanky arms around Karkat and squeezing him just a little too tight. Karkat let out an embarrassing squeal of discomfort and, getting the message, Gamzee heaved him up into the air and loosened his grip while still maintaining to get his hug on. Karkat groaned, but allowed Gamzee to continue with his physical affections because at least he could fucking breathe now. He even took it so far as to wrap an arm around Gamzee: begrudgingly, of course.

"ALRIGHT PUT ME DOWN NOW. YOU'VE GOTTEN YOUR HUG ON FOR LONG ENOUGH DAMMIT," Karkat demanded. This time, Gamzee obliged and set Karkat back on the ground. He was significantly shorter than the juggalo, only coming up to his chest, and had to strain his neck just to look up at the taller troll. When he did, he noticed Gamzee staring down at him with a goofy grin that almost made Karkat want to return the gesture. Almost.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING AT?" he asked in his usual demanding tone of voice. Undeterred, Gamzee just widened his shit-eating grin and scooped Karkat into his arms like a fucking human bride. As expected, Karkat started flailing about like a psycho in a strait jacket

"BrO, yOu ArE oNe CuTe AsS mOtHeRfUcKeR, yA kNoW tHaT?"

Karkat ceased flailing in Gamzee's arms and turned away to hide a candy red blush creeping up on his cheeks. Gamzee just laughed and headed towards the couch in Karkat's living room. Setting him down, Gamzee went over to the movie rack near the TV.

"So WhAt ArE wE wAtChInG kArBrO?" he asked whilst sifting through the various romcoms in Karkat's collection.

"WHAT IN THE BULGECHAFING FUCK MAKES YOU THINK WE'RE WATCHING A MOVIE? I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF BAKING SOMETHING AND-"

"Ya I kNoW bRo. HeH, i CaN sEe ThE aPrOn I gOt YoU," he replied with a smirk, gesturing at the lilac material, "So, Is ThAt An OfFeR?"

Karkat looked down at his apron, then back at his friend with disgust and stood up abruptly. He removed the garment, threw it on the floor, and stormed back into the kitchen. Gamzee only chuckled and followed the temperamental troll.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING PERVERT," Karkat tossed over his shoulder, picking up the frosting he'd tossed down earlier to finish his cake. Gamzee lingered over his shoulder as he worked: amused by the color of the frosting Karkat was using that just happened to be the exact shade of purple as his blood. Karkat worked diligently, doing his best to ignore the clown hovering over him and remove the red tint that covered his grey cheeks. He was fairly successful until he felt Gamzee's hands wrap around his shoulders. Gamzee smiled while massaging Karkat's shoulders, happy with the response he received.

"DAMMIT GAMZEE I'M TRYING TO FUCKING DECORATE THIS DAMN CAKE!"

"Oh SoRrY bRo, Am I aLl Up AnD dIsTrAcTiNg YoU?" he asked with mock innocence, "I cAn StOp If Ya WaNt."

"YES! DO THAT, THE STOPPING THING," Karkat insisted, trying his best to keep a steady hand. Gamzee ceased his massaging, opting to do something far more distracting to the hot-headed midget. He bent down and swirled his tongue around the top of one of Karkat's horns, causing the mutants breath to hitch in his throat. Karkat arched backwards and dropped the frosting for the second time that day, biting his bottom lip to suppress a moan.

"So, CaN wE wAtCh A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MoViE nOw BeSt FrIeNd?" Gamzee pleaded, using his thumb to rub up and down the neglected horn.

"UGH FINE! JUST FUCKING STOP TOUCHING MY- FUCK GAMZEE STO- OH FUCK~!"

Gamzee's face practically lit up like Kanaya's as he grabbed Karkat's hand and dragged him back into the living room. Karkat groaned before grabbing one of his favorite movies and popping it into the DVD player. The screen turned on and Karkat sat on the couch, purposely positioning himself on the end opposite to Gamzee. He grabbed a blanket draped over the top of the couch and snuggled underneath it, curling up into a little ball with his eyes glued to the screen. Gamzee chuckled to himself before reaching over to Karkat, scooping him and his blanket up, and placing him on his own lap. Karkat showered the juggalo with a series of curses before settling down for the sake of his movie. Gamzee's arms remained around Karkat's waist, making the low-blood blush, and he rested his head on the smaller troll's shoulder, only darkening the color.

_JEGUS, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HIM TODAY,_ Karkat wondered, failing to give his full attention to the movie, _HE'S JUST SO… AFFECTIONATE… AND ANNOYING! SO FUCKING ANNOYING… AND WARM… SO FUKING WARM…_

Noticing the continuous shift of expressions on Karkat's face, Gamzee rested his face in the crook of Karkat's neck and mumbled, "If ThErE's SoMeThInG oN yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg ThInK pAn, YoU kNoW yOu CaN aLwAyS tAlK tO a BrOtHeR."

Karkat closes his eyes and squirms a bit, too focused on Gamzee's hot breath on his neck and the hand slithering down his waist to bother with a response.

"I'm AlWaYs HeRe FoR yOu KaRbRo. YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg KnOw ThAt, DoN't Ya?"

Once Gamzee had made his way to Karkat's nether regions, he began to trace the outline of his nook with his fingers, willing his bulge to unsheathe. Karkat unwillingly obliged, his bulge unsheathing and wiggling against his jeans: desperate for contact. Gamzee proceeded to suck on Karkat's neck, using his free hand to rub one of Karkat's nubby horns. Karkat bit down on his lip and squeezed his eyes even tighter, trying his best to control the noises his body insisted on making. Gamzee removed his mouth and palmed Karkat through the irritating material, rubbing against his bulge in circular motions.

"CaN i Be AlL uP aNd HoNeSt WiTh YoU bRo?" he started, brushing his lips against Karkat's ear, "I nEvEr ReAlLy WaNtEd To Be MoIrAiLs. I aLwAyS wAnTeD mOrE, bUt AlL yOu WaNtEd WaS tHaT pYrOpE mOtHeRfUcKeR."

Karkat jerked his hips forward and whined, hating himself for enjoying this so much, hating himself for allowing that noise to slip his lips, and hating himself for not begging for more.

"I nEvEr DiD lIkE hEr. I gUeSs ThAt'S wHy ShE wAs My KiSmEsIs, HuH?"

"FUCK GAMZEE- WH- WHY ARE YOU DOI- FUCK!" Karkat exclaimed, unable to form proper sentences as Gamzee skillfully slipped his hand inside his pants and gripped his bulge, stroking it slowly: agonizingly slow.

"MoThErFuCk, YoU'rE sO cUtE lIkE tHiS: aLl SqUiRmInG iN mY lAp AnD mAkInG tHe CuTeSt MoThErFuCkInG nOiSeS wHiLe I pLeAsE yOu," he murmured, speeding up his pumping and lightly nibbling Karkat's ear, "ThIs Is HoW i AlWaYs WaNtEd To SeE yOu. I wAnT tO bE tHe OnLy OnE wHo CaN dO tHiS tO yOu, ThE oNlY oNe YoU tHiNk AbOuT wHeN yOu ToUcH yOuRsElF, bEcAuSe I kNoW yOu Do."

Karkat continued to jerk forward into Gamzee's touch, completely giving up on staying silent. He was now crying out and moaning like a little whore, allowing himself the pleasure that Gamzee gave.

"I gUeSs WhAt I'm TrYiNg To SaY iS: kArBrO, i WaNnA bE yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg MaTeSpRiT," he admitted, letting go of Karkat's bulge to slip a finger in Karkat's dripping wet nook and pump. Soon after, he added another finger and doubled his efforts, picking up more speed as he went.

"I wAnT yOu To ScReAm OuT mY nAmE wHeN yOu CuM," Gamzee pleaded, voice becoming dangerously low as he inserted a third finger into Karkat's dripping nook. Unable to hold out any longer, Karkat threw his head back onto Gamzee's shoulder and came, screaming out the high blood's name as his genetic material flooded out of him and onto Gamzee's miraculous motherfucking fingers. Gamzee removed his fingers and raised them to his lips, sucking the genetic material off and savoring the taste.

Karkat continued to lean against him panting, watching him lick the red fluids off of his fingers. Unsure what to do next, Karkat just remained in Gamzee's lap, contemplating everything he'd said. _HE WANTS TO BE MY FUCKING MATESPRIT? BUT… WHY…?_

"ThAt WaS mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeAuTiFuL bRo," Gamzee claimed, planting kisses up from Karkat's shoulders to his lips, but paused before kissing him there.

"WHAT THE FUCK GAMZEE!" Karkat tried to yell, but it only came out as a strained whisper, "DON'T JUST FINGER FUCK ME AND EXPECT THAT TO BE IT! I'M NOT A FUCKING BULGE SLUT, I AM A FUCKING TROLL THAT DESERVES SOME KIND OF FUCKING INTIMACY! SO DON'T JUST FUCKING UNLOAD YOUR BULLSHIT FEELINGS WITHOUT AT LEAST FUCKING KISSING ME FUCKASS!"

Gamzee laughed to himself before wrapping his arms around Karkat's waist and lifting him in the air. Karkat squirmed in his grip, but Gamzee ignored him and carried him into the bedroom, then tossed him onto the bed. He crawled on top of the mutant, using his hands to support his lanky body, and leaned in: allowing his lips to graze against Karkat's without making full contact.

"JUST FUCKING KISS ME YOU FUCKED UP JUGGALO!"

The said-juggalo smiled as he pressed his lips against the one he flushed for, running his tongue along his bottom lip. Karkat instead pulled away and removed both Gamzee's shirt and his own turtleneck sweater, marveling at the larger troll's chest. With all the baggy clothing, many thought he was scrawny, but once you removed the pesky clothing, his high-blood strength was obvious. Although his muscles weren't even as close to as profound as Equius', they were still defined and FUCK were they hot! Karkat's eyes widened and he allowed himself to touch Gamzee's chest, running his hands along his body dreamily.

"OH FUCK…"

Gamzee chuckled and Karkat could feel the mirth resonate through the other's chest. The high blood took this opportunity to remove the rest of his lover's clothes, pulling off both his jeans and boxers, then grabbing his wrists and pinning them against the bed. Karkat scowled at being restrained, and then dug his nails into Gamzee's arms once he realized his pants were missing. Gamzee paid the pain no mind, though, and proceeded to plant butterfly kisses along Karkat's neck: searching for his sensitive spot. He knew he found it when Karkat arched his back and moaned, so he continued to abuse that spot: nipping, biting, licking, kissing, and sucking until Karkat was writhing beneath him uncontrollably.

The mirthful troll sat up and stared at his beautiful miracle, eyes boring into him and memorizing every little detail. The way his candy red blood would consume his face when he got flushed, the way he refused to break eye contact, and how, despite his obvious pleasure, he continued to glare. All of these little defiance's drove Gamzee crazy, and all Gamzee wanted was to be the only one to see him so vulnerable like he did earlier. It made him feel special to know that HE of all people could break Karkat's façade.

"STOP STARING FUCKASS, YOU'RE BEING CREEPY…," Karkat muttered, breath ragged. Gamzee did as he was told and bent down, taking one of Karkat's nipples between his teeth and tugging slightly. Karkat whimpered at the touch, and Gamzee took this as a sign for more. He started sucking, using his fingers to toy with the other, then moved upward to plant his lips on his lover's. This time they both went straight to making out, each of their tongue's rolling across the other's: exploring and tasting one another and moaning into the kiss. They continued this for what seemed like a whole sweep before Karkat pulled away, gulping down air and pushing Gamzee away.

Getting the hint, Gamzee removed his remaining clothing, allowing Karkat the whole view. Karkat's eyes widened, focusing on the large purple bulge that would be going inside him: unsheathed and thrashing in the air. It was at least twice the size of his own, not to mention how fucking thick it was. Suddenly feeling a bit insecure, Karkat tried to curl up into a ball and hide his own bulge that now seemed pathetic in comparison to his lover's, but Gamzee wouldn't have any of that. He forced Karkat to lie flat on his back, and then pressed the tip of his bulge up against Karkat's nook.

"DoN't WoRrY mOtHeRfUcKeR, i StIlL tHiNk YoU'rE pErFeCt."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TEASING ME DAMMIT," Karkat ordered, trying his best to sound STRONG, but failing miserably. Gamzee smirked, making him look even sexier than he already fucking his, and eased his bulge into Karkat's nook, trying his best not to hurt the small troll. Karkat winced in pain as Gamzee fully entered him, doing his best to adjust to his size. Once he did, he backed up against Gamzee's hips, signaling for him to continue. Gamzee pulled out and rammed back in, repeating this process and making Karkat cry out in pleasure as he got filled up by the juggalo. Gamzee leaned down to kiss Karkat sloppily, speeding up his thrusts to match each of Karkat's whimpers.

Continuing to fuck Karkat senseless, Gamzee reached down and wrapped his long fingers around Karkat's bulge and began pumping. He was close to his edge, but wanted to climax with Karkat to make it more special.

"GAM- FUCK GAMZEE- I'M GONNA FU- OH FUCK GAMZEE!"

Karkat cried out Gamzee's name as genetic material spurted from both regions, flowing onto his bed in pools of red. The walls to his nook clenched around Gamzee's bulge, which drove him over the edge. He released his purple fluids into Karkat's nook: completely spent, and then fell on top of him

"DAMMIT GAMZEE, GET YOUR ASS OFF ME!"

Gamzee laughed and rolled to the side, gazing at the mutant beside him with childish wonder. Deciding that they weren't close enough, Gamzee slinked an arm around Karkat and pulled him against his chest, then grabbed the only blanket that wasn't soiled and placed it over them.

"GAMZEE WE NEED T-"

The taller of the two placed a finger against Karkat's lips and shooshed him, then pulled him even closer into his hold.

"We CaN wOrRy AbOuT tHaT iN tHe MoRnInG mAtEsPrIt. LeT's JuSt ChIlL fOr ThE rEsT oF tHe MoThErFuCkInG nIgHt…," Gamzee suggested, already close to falling asleep. Karkat yawned, submitting to his new matesprit's idea.

"LoVe Ya KaRbRo."

Karkat buried his face in Gamzee's neck and sighed happily.

"LOVE YOU TOO FUCKASS."

**Alright, there's my very first Homestuck fanfic. Be a dear and tell me how I did. Or don't. Either way, I'm just happy you took the time to read this ^u^**


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